Countdown to Ayyám-i-Há

The Ayyám-i-Há holiday begins each year at sunset on February 25 and ends at sunset on March 1st. Of this period Bahá'u'lláh writes: "It behoveth the people of Bahá, throughout these days, to provide good cheer for themselves, their kindred and, beyond them, the poor and needy, and with joy and exultation to hail and glorify their Lord, to sing His praise and magnify His Name."

To get the kids excited about Ayyám-i-Há, while keeping the focus on service and community (as opposed to gifts although there is some of that as well!), I decided to do a countdown this year. After some consideration, I chose to make the countdown for the entire month prior to the holiday. In the Baha’i calendar the months are 19 days long so our countdown calendar has 19 cups, each with a 9 pointed star. On each star is a number that represents how many days left until Ayyám-i-Há. 

Every morning we remove one cup so they can see how many days are left. Inside each cup is a slip of paper with an activity on it for the day. Activities include:

Family Movie Night
Make valentines for friends
Listen to "The New Aba" and collect things we no longer want
Drop off donations to A Precious Child
Make and Mail cards for friends and family living far away
Clean up trash in neighborhood
Deliver Valentine’s Day cards to assisted living
Family Game Night
Make gifts for friends
“Secret Mission”
Deliver Donations to Food Bank
Call someone just to tell them we love them
Send Ayyam-i-Ha cards
Make Cookie Dough
Roll, Cut and Bake cookies
Decorate- hang banner, stars
Set-up Bowl w/ floating candles

The kids are getting increasingly excited for Ayyám-i-Há as am I!

Each day of the holiday will bring more activities and special events that I will share with you then. Enjoy your families and bring joy to those around you with the easiest act of kindness; a smile!

Blessings and Love,
Kim

Forgiveness Saved My Life

In my very first post about my story I made mention of some hurt and anger that kept me from attending church. This hurt and anger also kept me from living a truly joyful life and, while the cause of that hurt and anger are a part of this story, the main focus in on the power of forgiveness.


I was sexually abused by my Father for many years as a child. This, for obvious reasons, affected my self esteem, my trust and caused me to lock down inside myself. As a result, I made some pretty questionable choices as a teen and into my 20’s (the kind that now, as a mom, make me cringe!). Sure, I had done therapy and explored the emotions surrounding the abuse but nothing seemed to penetrate that deep down anger and hatred.

One day I was walking down the street and I was struck by how much of an influence my Father still had on me and my life despite not having a physical presence in my life since the truth came out 10 years prior. All of a sudden, it just seemed ridiculous. While he had taken my childhood from me, I was choosing to also give him the power to take the joy from my adult life, too. That was all on me. I was given “justice” by his time served in jail but, in the grand scheme of things, that did nothing for the dark parts inside me. As soon as that became clear to me I also realized that at that moment I forgave him. I chose to forgive him and I could feel the anger and the hate and all the darkness just leave. It was like flipping on a light. Talk about empowering!

Years later, I visited my Father in the hospital where it was clear that he was not in a place to ask for forgiveness. I was able to give it to him, anyway, and I know I will always be grateful that I was able to share that with him before he passed away.

I think that the act of forgiveness is one of the most powerful gifts you can give yourself and I am blessed that I’ve had the opportunity to experience it.

Forgiveness truly saved my life.  

“Love the creatures for the sake of God and not for themselves. You will never become angry or impatient if you love them for the sake of God. Humanity is not perfect. There are imperfections in every human being, and you will always become unhappy if you look toward the people themselves. But if you look toward God, you will love them and be kind to them, for the world of God is the world of perfection and complete mercy. Therefore, do not look at the shortcomings of anybody; see with the sight of forgiveness. The imperfect eye beholds imperfections. The eye that covers faults looks toward the Creator of souls.”
~ Bahá’í Sacred Writings, Abdu’l-Bahá, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 92

Ayyam-i-Wha?

What is Ayyam-i-Ha?

For most folks, if I were to mention celebrating Ayyam-i-Ha, they would have no idea what in the world I was referring to. To understand what Ayyam-i-Ha is, first one must understand the Baha’i calendar. Each Baha’i month is made up of 19 days and there are 19 months in a Baha’i year. Between the 18th and 19th month of the year are 4-5 (depending upon leap year) days that do not fit into a month. These are called Intercalary Days or Ayyam-i-Ha. This year, Ayyam-i-Ha is 4 days long and it begins at sunset on February 25th and goes to sunset on March 1st.

Planning for Ayyam-i-Ha

While other faiths have Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, and other special celebrations, the Baha’i’s celebrate Ayyam-i-Ha as one of their biggest celebrations.  Baha’i families and communities use these days for gift-giving, charity and celebration. There are no set traditions but each individual family can mold their celebrations into an expression of themselves and their faith.  When planning their celebrations, Baha’i’s can read some of the Holy writings for guidance.  Bahá'u'lláh's own instructions in the Kitáb-i-Aqdas:

Let the days in excess of the months be placed before the month of fasting. We have ordained that these, amid all days and nights, shall be the manifestations of the letter Há, and thus they have not been bounded by the limits of the year and its months. It behoveth the people of Bahá, throughout these days, to provide good cheer for themselves, their kindred and, beyond them, the poor and needy, and with joy and exultation to hail and glorify their Lord, to sing His praise and magnify His Name, and when they end--these days of giving that precede the season of restraint--let them enter upon the Fast.

(p. 25)

"The letter 'Há' has been given several spiritual meanings in the Holy Writings, among which is as a symbol of the Essence of God.

(Note #28, p. 178)

So, how do I bring together gift-giving, charity and celebration along with remembering that Ayyam-i-Ha also means “days of Ha” (which as stated above is the Essence of God) while still honoring the different beliefs in my household?

First and foremost I believe that the Essence of God is Love. With that in mind, I would like to bring focus to that through a countdown of sorts in the 19 days leading up to Ayyam-i-Ha.  I really like some of the countdown activities I’ve found on other Baha’i Family blogs out there.

Veritable Treasures

Nurturing The Tender Years

I like the idea of activities each day, but with our schedule I’m not sure how feasible that will be. I will have to see what I come up with. I may do a combination of activities with reading various quotes about love and unity from various cultures and faiths.

I’m open to ideas and suggestions and will be sure to post a follow up post with a completed countdown calendar and description of what is in each pocket!


Blessings and Love,
Kim

My Story

I grew up in a pretty liberal Christian Church in Berkeley, CA.  I loved that the stories and sermons were often about the parables and were always positive as opposed to fire and brimstone.  It was a wonderful community and the people were full of love.  I went because my parents made me and, while I enjoyed the people, I had no deeper connection to the words being spoken. On my 16th birthday, I really wanted to just stay home but my parents made me go so I could see my grandparents. During the service, one of the members suffered a heart attack. With my lifeguard training, I, and another woman (who we later learned was a respiratory therapist and visiting a church for the first time in over 10 years), performed CPR and were able to sustain her life until the paramedics arrived and took over. During those minutes in which I gave my breath to her, I truly felt God's presence for the first time in my life.

Over the years I took God for granted. I did nothing to cultivate our relationship nor did I seek to delve deeper into the meaning of it all. There are reasons for this that I won't go into, but it had to do with a lot of hurt and anger that kept me from entering the church. As I reached my mid-20's I occasionally felt like finding a church home. As I lived far away from where I had as a youth I attended various churches that I had not been to before. Again, while the people were truly lovely, I felt no connection.

About 10 years later, I had my 3 little ones and started feeling, again, like I wanted to find a spiritual home in which they could also find that love of God. I attended another church, that I had not been to before, and instantly felt at home. The message, the people, the community and the love were all things that felt right. I became more involved and even began volunteering as the youth education director.  I loved so much about the experience.

One day, my co-director and I met with some ladies who had brought us a program to consider using with our youth. They were Baha'i and the program was for what they called "Junior Youth".  In talking with them, and reading over the materials, we felt that it was an amazing program and, with their help, implemented it with our own teens.  Each week I would join one of our Baha'i friends in working with the youth. I think I got as much, if not more, out of the program than our kids did!  In working with the materials, and hearing our new friends speak, I began to have questions about my own faith. Not so much as whether I believed in God, but why did I believe and what exactly did I believe?  They extended an offer to join a study circle (what they referred to as a Ruhi class) and I accepted, thinking it was a good way to explore my own faith. It was. During the course of the class I found the possibilities opening up and realized that what I had grown up believe was, indeed, true...but it was only a small portion of the bigger picture.

I began to feel more empowered with my spirituality and accepted an invitation to join them for their weekly informal devotions. Immediately, I felt connected and loved and it was an indescribable feeling; the love of God and Baha'u'llah in that room.  As I continued to question, investigate and pray on my own spirituality, I, too, felt the love of Baha'u'llah.

About a year after being introduced to the Baha'i faith, I declared.

One might think that would be the end of the journey but it was only the beginning. My declaration was but a drop in the ocean of what it means to be a Baha'i. I am still exploring, questioning and learning and will continue to do so.

In the meantime, what does it mean for my family? My husband is agnostic and my kids still remember all the Christian events and holidays. So, this blog is really about merging it all together while honoring the individuality of all those involved.   I may not do it "right" or the "best way" but this is our life and our journey to A Radiant Heart.

Blessings and Love,
Kim