Forgiveness Saved My Life

In my very first post about my story I made mention of some hurt and anger that kept me from attending church. This hurt and anger also kept me from living a truly joyful life and, while the cause of that hurt and anger are a part of this story, the main focus in on the power of forgiveness.


I was sexually abused by my Father for many years as a child. This, for obvious reasons, affected my self esteem, my trust and caused me to lock down inside myself. As a result, I made some pretty questionable choices as a teen and into my 20’s (the kind that now, as a mom, make me cringe!). Sure, I had done therapy and explored the emotions surrounding the abuse but nothing seemed to penetrate that deep down anger and hatred.

One day I was walking down the street and I was struck by how much of an influence my Father still had on me and my life despite not having a physical presence in my life since the truth came out 10 years prior. All of a sudden, it just seemed ridiculous. While he had taken my childhood from me, I was choosing to also give him the power to take the joy from my adult life, too. That was all on me. I was given “justice” by his time served in jail but, in the grand scheme of things, that did nothing for the dark parts inside me. As soon as that became clear to me I also realized that at that moment I forgave him. I chose to forgive him and I could feel the anger and the hate and all the darkness just leave. It was like flipping on a light. Talk about empowering!

Years later, I visited my Father in the hospital where it was clear that he was not in a place to ask for forgiveness. I was able to give it to him, anyway, and I know I will always be grateful that I was able to share that with him before he passed away.

I think that the act of forgiveness is one of the most powerful gifts you can give yourself and I am blessed that I’ve had the opportunity to experience it.

Forgiveness truly saved my life.  

“Love the creatures for the sake of God and not for themselves. You will never become angry or impatient if you love them for the sake of God. Humanity is not perfect. There are imperfections in every human being, and you will always become unhappy if you look toward the people themselves. But if you look toward God, you will love them and be kind to them, for the world of God is the world of perfection and complete mercy. Therefore, do not look at the shortcomings of anybody; see with the sight of forgiveness. The imperfect eye beholds imperfections. The eye that covers faults looks toward the Creator of souls.”
~ Bahá’í Sacred Writings, Abdu’l-Bahá, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 92